Never did run smooth
by Erizawa Hoshi
Summary: Chapter 5 Richiki gets what he always wanted, but was it worth it, and what does Byakuya think in the bath? But, as the old saying goes....................
1. Dreams and Nightmares

**Author:** -Erizawa Hoshie

**Title:** -Never did run smooth.

**Genre:** -Romance/Angsty

**Summary:** -The basic plot. Byakuya and Renji, and their problems with how they feel for each other. Could those two please just work it out!

**Rating:** -R

**Pairings:** -Renji x Byakuya, some pairs later on.

**Main Characters:** - Arbarai Renji, Kuchiki Byakuya

**Disclaimer: **- Maybe I do own Bleach, how would you know if I didn't! OK, so I don't, sue me…… Wait, please don't)

**Notes:** - Well here I am, in the middle of the night, deciding to take a leap and write a story I've wanted to write for a while. I know there are many, much better RenjixByakuya fics, but please be gentle with me, I'm a relative novice.

Renji ran his hand under the shower, checking the temperature before stepping under it. He tilted his head back, letting the hot water run through his long, bright hair. He sighed as the jet of water drummed into his neck and shoulders, easing the tension of a hard day's work.

Renji grinned, 'hard day's work.' He guiltily thought of his day wasted, staring at his captain. He couldn't help it, ever since his first day as Kuchiki Byakuya's vice-captain, he'd stared; he couldn't help it. Everything about him was sublime.

The way the proud noble sat so properly, his hand moving fluidly as he did his paperwork. The way his perfect ebony hair cascaded from him kenseikan to partially cover his face. That exquisite face and flawless cheekbones, with those ice-cold eyes that could kill with a look.

And his lips, his delicate, pouty lips. Renji ran his hand down his stomach, grinning slightly at the half erection his thoughts had caused. He sighed and wrapped his fingers around it, imagining his superior's soft lips in their place.

Renji groaned and hardened even more. He began to run his hand up and down, envisioning Byakuya's warm tongue sampling his head before running down the shaft. Renji closed his eyes; gripping harder he allowed himself to fantasize. The older man would tease him mercilessly with his tongue, licking and kissing him before taking his full length into his mouth.

Renji groaned again. Knowing it was only a fantasy but still allowing himself the indulgence. He could almost feel the noble's mouth sucking hard on him, dragging him closer and closer to the edge; before milking him dry as the vice-captain came violently in his mouth.

Renji washed his hands off under the jet of water, finished his shower and got out. It had been a long time since he'd pleasured himself while thinking of the captain. It left his feeling fulfilled yet empty. He still yearned for the _real _touch of his superior, for him to take him as he'd always dreamed he might.

"Just a dream," muttered Renji. "Nothing more."

Kuchiki Byakuya jerked awake, a film of cold sweat covered his pale body.

"Just a dream," he told himself. "Nothing more."

The nightmares were becoming far more frequent. He didn't like it, he hadn't had them this bad since Hisana died. Not so bad that he would awaken in the middle of the night sweating, afraid to go back to sleep in case those images returned to haunt him.

The young Kuchiki heir slid out of bed and padded off to his bathroom. He felt dreadful, he'd been like this for weeks now. Dark circles underlined his eyes and his usually porcelain skin felt tight and pastey.

Byakuya frowned, splashing water on his face. He knew everyone was looking at him differently, commenting behind his back about how ill he looked. It seemed the only person not to have noticed the change in Kuchiki Byakuya was the one who had caused it. Arbarai Renji, the greenest lieutenant in Seireitei and the object of his desires.

"No!" he told himself firmly. "You can't go down that path again."

After Hisana died, they said he had been left empty inside, that he was incapable of affection. That might not have been literally true, but Kuchiki Byakuya had made himself a promise to _never _fall in love again, it was just too painful.

That was why the past few weeks had been so difficult. Since the first moment the noble captain saw his new lieutenant, he was captivated. Not just by the young Shinigami's handsome chiseled features (although they _were _enough to make one stand and stare;) but by his attitude.

The way he swaggered into the office on the first day.

"_Mornin Kuchiki Taicho." _

It had all been so perfect, that first day. Byakuya had almost cracked a smile, but he saved that rare moment for when he was alone. When he thought about Renji, he couldn't do anything but smile, the younger man just made him _happy, _there was no other way to describe how he felt around Renji, just happy. That was until the nightmares.

Byakuya had never been a sound sleeper. And when Hisana first got ill he got even less sleep. That was the night of the first nightmare. He thought, after he lost her that they would stop forever. That he would never have to go through that pain again.

But his devastatingly attractive lieutenant had seen off that idea. The captain couldn't stop thinking about him. That hair, those tattoos, those bright consuming eyes. Byakuya shook his head again. It wasn't just the fact that he had banned himself from falling in love again, it was also the fact that he was captian of 6th squad.

"It would be irresponsible," he scolded himself. "I am Renji's captain and he would be disgusted at me if I abused my position in that way."

He nodded finally, and returned to bed to wait out the night until he could return to his lieutenant.

**More notes:** - I am so, so sorry for the awfulness of my writing. I like to do these sorts of pairings; full of angst. If you want me to keep writing, then post some of those dreaded reviews. Nasty or nice I don't really mind, but try not to make them pointless (because that would be pointless.)

If you don't review, I shall assume that I was right and this story shall be put away on the shelf and ignored whenever we have visitors around for tea.


	2. Daydreaming at the office

**Notes: **- I only just realised that I hadn't updated this fic. Felt incredibly guilty. Despite the fact that this is not a good story, I thought it needed at least a bit of TLC to see if it would go anywhere…….

**R**enji departed from his room earlier than usual. It was something about the air that day that roused him to make for the office so early. He pulled back his hair and forced down some breakfast before heading, hot foot to the 6th squad office.

Renji ambled into the building waving lazily to the people he met. He passed some unranked girls who gossiped idly in the stairwell. They didn't notice his presence before he over heard some of their chatter.

"Doesn't Kuchiki Taicho look _ill_? I swear he's not been sleeping"

"I know what you mean, I've never seen him so pale and drawn. It's quite worrying"

"I blame Abarai Fukutaicho, he doesn't seem to notice."

"That's what I was thinking, he's so cheerful all the time, like he doesn't care. I think his attitude is affecting the Captain's focus."

"That's not what _I_ heard………… Oh, Abarai Fukutaicho!"

All three girls left to their feet at once, glancing awkwardly at each other. Renji smiled as though he had heard nothing.

"Sumimasen, ladies," he said pushing past them and heading up to the office a fixed grin on his face. 'Was what they were saying true? Did the captain look ill and he hadn't realised it? Did he really _distract_ the captain? What is if was for the same reasons the captain distracted _him_?'

Renji's questions would have to wait, for now…….

**B**yakuya groaned and pulled himself out of bed. He hadn't slept at all, the nightmares becoming more and more vivid the sleepier he got. He made an effort to hide the fact that he had gotten no sleep, but to little avail.

So he instead set out early, skipping breakfast and taking the long route to the office. He sighed and inhaled the fresh scent of the morning.

'Why was this affecting him so much! He had never been this confused about his feelings for anyone before. But now, he couldn't eat, or sleep, or focus on his work. His whole way of doing things had come crashing down about his ears and was close to turning him into a quivering nervous wreak.'

He rounded the corner and made his way into the 6th squad office, narrowly avoiding some giggling girls on the stairwell, who seemed to be discussing him. He sighed again and entered the office, settling himself into his chair, waiting for Renji to arrive.

The young Lieutenant surprised him by arriving earlier than usual.

"Ohayo, Kuchiki Taicho," he said, more confidently then he felt. Renji quickly found himself a seat before his legs gave out on him. The captain gave little more than a nod in greeting, before returning to the mornings paperwork.

Renji waited for an opportune moment when the captain was suitably absorbed in his work before choosing to study him closer.

The girls were right, Kuchiki Taicho _did _look ill. Renji wasn't sure if it was the fact that he looked half starved or because of the evil black circles under his perfect hyacinth eyes. Renji took a chance.

"Ummmm, Kuchiki Taicho……" he started, unsure of what to say?

The older man looked up from his work. Renji saw the exhaustion in his usually placid face.

"Kuchiki Taicho? Are you… feeling alright?"

Byakuya blinked, unsure of how to answer the question. He wasn't sure how to _start_ telling Renji that 'No, he wasn't alright, because night after night he was awoken by nightmares so terrible that it meant sleep never an option. That he could think of no-one but Renji, consequently meaning that sustenance had ceased to interest him. That he would give half his fortune to be able to tell Renji how he felt, or even to pluck up the courage to admit it to himself.'

Byakuya chose his words carefully.

"Yes Renji, I am fine," a slight blush glowed at the base of his neck, mercifully hidden by his scarf. He knew he could never tell Renji how he felt, that would be wrong and against what he felt their relationship should be.

Renji paused, trying to decide the best way of continuing the subject.

"S'just, you don't _seem _alright…… some of the others have started talkin' about it. And, with all due respect Kuchiki Taicho, you look _dreadful_."

Byakuya started at the forwardness of Renji's words. He blinked unable to formulate a response. He wasn't aware he looked _that _ bad, he thought he was hiding it quite well.

Renji faltered, thinking he'd gone too far. He looked down.

"Gomen, Kuchiki Taicho. I meant no disrespect."

Byakuya swallowed and decided he needed some air. He rose from his seat and made his way to the door.

"Excuse me, Renji," he said quietly, trying to keep the strain from his voice.

**Even more notes: **- So there we are. The second chapter. Not good by any means, but hey, it's very very late at night. So read, review, sleep and try to give some advice as to how I may improve myself. Domo.


	3. I must be dreaming

**Notes III: **I know, I know, you did say update soon, and I know this is a bit _too_ soon. But I am alone, my friends/family/boyfriend have all been really nice and buggered off somewhere leaving me for a few weeks. So I intend to update as soon as I get some inspiration.

I tried to write it longer, but it's hard! (went a bit whiney Orihime there,) I do write shorter pieces better, I think, I hope.

**B**yakuya paced. No. Byakuya didn't pace, pacing was unrefined, pacing wasn't what the heir to the Kuchiki estate did. Instead Byakuya _walked_, gently calming along the path under the trees, before turning smartly on his heel and coming back the way he came.

He did this over and over again, until anyone watching would have been turned quite ill by the repetition. While he walked he thought, and he thought hard.

He thought about Renji. He had tried not to, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to keep his glacial expression around him. Whenever he saw the young Fukutaicho, he just wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor and drool all over his feet.

Byakuya stopped and shook his head '_drool all over his feet_!' What sort of nonsense is that? Why did he think that? What on earth was this doing to the noble's mind. If he didn't stop this madness now he might very well end up talking utter gibberish for the rest of his life.

The Kuchiki heir sat down, under a tree and closed his eyes. He really should get back to the office. He really should get a grip on himself. He was a grown man and somehow he felt himself acting like a 9 year old girl with a silly school girl crush.

It was like he couldn't even look Renji in the eye anymore. Because if he did, he ran the risk of making a complete fool of himself. Or worse, Renji finding out how he felt. Byakuya wasn't sure if anyone else knew (or guessed,) and he didn't think he could ever show his face anywhere in Soul Society again.

It wasn't that he was ashamed, far from it, part of him wanted to jump on top of the highest building in Soul Society and proclaim his feeling to everyone. But that would be both stupid, futile and dangerous.

'No' he told himself. 'The best thing to do is just to forget about all of this. It's just a crush, it'll go away of it's own accord soon enough and everything will be alright again'

'Ah, but will it though?' said an irritating voice in the back of his mind. 'What if you never feel this way about anyone again? You could end up cold and alone for the rest of your life.'

Byakuya chose to ignore this voice, instead remaining in silent contemplation under his tree.

**I**t was several hours after Byakuya left the office and Renji was still hard at work. It was only after he notices that he was almost finished that he realised why.

"Taicho?" he said, without meaning to. He remembered the captain leaving. He remembered deciding it would be unwise to follow him. He remembered doing work to try and take his mind off the fact that his captain had gone. But how had he not noticed so much time had gone by?

Nearly three and a half hours had gone by. Renji got up out of his chair and headed out of the door.

He wasn't really sure what he was doing, the only proper thought in his mind, was to find the captain. And he wasn't even sure that was a wise idea. But since when had many of Renji's ideas been wise?

After another half an hour futile walking Renji honed in on his captains reiatsu. Renji smiled, he liked his captain's reiatsu. It always felt so cool and calm, almost soothing. Even more so, now Renji sensed that he was asleep.

The young one smirked, and casually strolled over to the tree his captain had chosen to rest under. He sat so still and peaceful, his proud head gently resting on the trunk of the tree.

Renji crouched in front of the sleeping noble and smiled. He knew the captain was exhausted, he looked it. Even while sleeping he looked fatigued. His normally porcelain skin looked waxy and lifeless.

Renji sighed, it made him sad to see his Taicho like this, so frail and helpless. He reached out and softly brushed an eyelash from the sleeping captain's face.

Byakuya stirred in his sleep and slowly woke up. He blinked sleepily and gazed up into the bright eyes of his smiling vice-captain. Everything in his mind screamed, 'This is a dream, it has to be a dream.'

"Mornin' Taicho," breathed Renji, his hand still resting lazily on Byakuya's face.

Byakuya continued to gaze at him, his violet eyes wide and uncertain.

"Renji?" he said, his voice groggy and unlike his normal cold monotone.

Renji grinned, gently running his hand across Byakuya's face and through his long, silken hair.

The captain breathed heavily, and half closed his eyes. His eyelids becoming heavy, but not with drowsiness. His rose lips parted slightly as he stared longingly at the red haired young death god.

Renji smiled weakly, as he leant down, his nose just a few inches from the captains. He sighed, his breath merely touching his Taicho's quivering lips. Then their lips touched. A brief, sweet lingering kiss.

'Oh god,' thought Byakuya. 'Now I know I'm dreaming'

**End notes: **I don't know whether to leave it there or to continue. I don't really know where to go from there. Oh well. Many of the ByakuyaxRenji fics I read have read, there is generally a more seme Byakuya and more uke Renji, but I like the idea of more uke Byakuya. Don't ask me why, because I shall just reply 'I don't know, ask Ellison.'


	4. One man's dream, another man's nightmare

**Author:** -Erizawa Hoshie

**Title:** -Never did run smooth.

**Genre:** -Romance/Angsty

**Summary:** -The basic plot. Byakuya and Renji, and their problems with how they feel for each other. Could those two please just work it out?!

**Rating:** -M(ish)

**Pairings:** -Renji x Byakuya, some other pairs later on.

**Main Characters:** - Arbarai Renji, Kuchiki Byakuya

**Disclaimer: **- Maybe I do own Bleach, how would you know if I didn't?!?! OK, so I don't, sue me…… Wait, please don't.

**Notes IV the notes strike back:** - I felt the need to repost all of the above for the simple reason that this has been over a year now since I updated my baby; my eldest and most neglected. The truth why I haven't uploaded in so long is a subtle blend of writer's block, my computer borking regularly and sheer laze (woop laze FTW!)

But anyway, here it is, the (not so) eagerly awaited chapter 4 of NDRS, I promise smut next chapter… honest.

Renji's kiss was gentle and intense. His strong hand still entwined in his Byakuya's locks, holding the captain's face close to his. Byakuya knew this had to be a dream, it was all too perfect; the sun was just dipping below the crimson horizon, the breeze gently blew the blossom in a cascade around the two shinigami, and Renji was there. Renji, the man he'd thought of for so long now, longed to be with him like this, just kissing under a tree.

If Renji was kissing him like this it had to mean he felt the same. Byakuya was surprised, not that his vice captain was gay, he'd often suspected there was more to the red haired shinigami that met the eye, but that he felt this way about _him_.

This was perfect, this was heaven, this was… wrong. Kuchiki Byakuya was a man of honour; it was unethical to have this sort of relationship with a subordinate. He began to pull away, placing a cool, slightly clammy hand on Renji's chest.

"No, Renji," he said in the coldest voice he could muster. "I don't know what you might think of me, but I have absolutely no feelings for you in that respect. Rest assured no good will come of you perusing this course of action."

And with that he rose fluidly to his feet and strode off away, leaving his embarrassed and dumbfounded vice captain to stare after him in disbelief.

Renji was stunned, how had he got this so spectacularly wrong?! He had been so sure his captain would feel the same way. How had he been so stupid? Of course Kuchiki Byakuya wasn't gay! He'd been married! He was the heir to the goddamn Kuchiki estate! How could he possibly be gay? And now he knew. Renji had tried so hard to keep his sexuality from his work life. He knew Shuuhei and Izuru would keep zipped about all their past exploits and he'd never do anything dumb like fuck around with someone from the office. Hell! He'd even feigned a crush on his best friend to keep the heat off.

Richiki had asked; he'd practically begged Renji to, but the older man always maintained that he was straight so his Taicho wouldn't avoid him. Of course that was all over now. Sure Kuchiki Taicho would never tell anyone, Renji knew it was absurd to think he could be a gossip, but _he_ had been the one man Renji never wanted to find out, until he was absolutely sure he felt the same.

Everyone might as well know now, there was no point in keeping it a secret now nothing would ever happen with the one man he desired…

o x o x o

Byakuya didn't stop until he was securely locked in his own room, deep inside the Kuchiki estate. He sunk into his desk chair and placed his head in his hands. What had he done? How had he ever let that kiss happen? What would Renji think of him now? Part of the Kuchiki's heart wanted to be relieved. After all, now he knew Renji felt the same, he wasn't alone, he should feel loved, he should feel happy!

But no. Byakuya knew there was no way it could work. Renji was his subordinate, he had a duty to him and his squad not to put himself in a compromising situation, by becoming too emotionally attached to his vice captain, it risked the entire detached way in which he ran his squad.

He would have to supply Renji with the necessary transfer forms in the morning. There could be no way that Renji would wish to stay at 6th. Maybe Ukitake Taicho would accept him into 13th, he could do with a new vice captain, or perhaps Renji would be happier back at 11th?

The thought of losing Renji made Byakuya feel quite unwell. He swiftly changed out of his uniform and lay down. The more and more he thought about it, the more Byakuya thought he was about to cry. It was a feeling he didn't relish and refused to give in to it. He hadn't cried since Hisana's death, it didn't feel right.

Rukia once told him that it wasn't healthy to go so long without letting go of your emotions. Sometimes Byakuya was inclined to agree with her, right now he wanted nothing more than to curl up in the foetal position and cry like a little girl. But he didn't even now, he knew no good would come of that. Instead he decided to attempt sleep, not caring what nightmares it brought.

o x o x o

Renji stormed back to his apartment. His plan for the evening was to get very drunk and possibly kill himself. He scowled at several squad members and kicked open the door to the apartment block that many of the officers shared.

"Renji kun?" a meek voice called to him down the corridor.

It was Richiki.

If Renji was surprised to see him, he didn't show anything. It had been ages since the younger shinigami had spoken to him, or even stayed in the same room. It had been awkward between them for months since Richiki's drunken little confession.

"_Renji kun, this is hard for me… you're too perfect for words… I wish you'd look at me the way you look Rukia san… I wish you'd want me the way you want Rukia san…"_

If Renji hadn't rejected him that night who knows where he would be now. Would have simply learnt to love Richiki, or would his passionate love for the captain have killed them both in the end? Renji would never know. He glared at his admirer.

"What?!"

Richiki shuffled his feet and blinked at him, a little taken aback by his idol's sharpness.

"Ummm… Is something wrong, Renji kun? Is there anything I can do?" he inquired timidly, it was true that Richiki still loved him, but there was something about the fire haired Vice captain that scared him somewhat.

Renji growled, he could think of no logical way to relate the torment he was in to this brat; how he had been rejected and how he wanted nothing but to break something. The carnal frustration that had been brewing within Renji's most animal depths needed a release, _any_ release. He wanted so desperately to hurt Byakuya; to make the cold nobleman realise the pain he'd caused. Renji's eyes were drawn to the young shinigami before him.

'So young and so fragile', he thought, grinning maliciously, subconsciously licking his lips. "He's perfect."


	5. Richiki Betrayed

Notes: The very latest chapter has arrived

**Notes: **The very latest chapter has arrived. It is, in fact, the longest chapter I have ever written. I finally got a lemon in there. Not terribly good, but I am so proud with how Byakuya turned out. Even Arakida Ayano the great Kuchiki studier said I wasn't bad. Thanks sweetheart! Hope this latest chapter pleases you all as much as it pleased me.

Renji approached with a swagger, the fragile younger shinigami swallowing loudly as he held a defensive hand to his chest. Richiki adored his senpai, in one drunken stupor he'd even told him so, but his beloved's look brought some sort of fear into him.

The Fukutaicho grabbed his face with a wildness that was as strong as his red hair, pulling him closer, forcing his entire body against the wall with an inescapable pressure. Staring deep and penetratingly into his eyes, he asked his young admirer,

"You still want me, do you?"

Before Richiki could answer Renji acted upon that faint glimmer of hope in his eyes, taking the smile that was forming on his lips with a fierce, brash kiss. His tongue pushed against teeth, practically tearing it's way deep into the young shinigami's quivering mouth.

"Renji…"

Richiki had never seen him like this, at least not sober. He remembered times when Renji would take on a whole bar and win, all for the hell of it, but this was different. He felt himself being dragged down corridors to his Fukutaicho's apartment.

'This should all feel so perfect,' he thought. It was a dream come true, but it still felt wrong. He had always imagined his first time with Renji; romance, soft lights, declarations of undying love…

He felt his eyes stinging with tears. This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Renji to love him.

The younger shinigami suddenly felt very small and vulnerable. He didn't want what he had with Renji to become what he'd had with so many other men; fast and cold. But there was no stopping his senpai now. The look of lust in Renji's eyes was almost frightening.

The older man's hands explored, pushing the boy's kimono off his pale shoulders. Richiki winced, feeling the sharp nails dig into the skin. Renji didn't know why he felt so angry, well he did, but he couldn't explain why causing his friend such pain gave him such perverse pleasure. It almost made him forget why he was here…

Richiki's uniform lay in a torn little heap by the bed as Renji knelt up, looked down on his stripped subordinate with something akin to disgust. He tried to imagine the flawlessly beautiful grace of his captain beneath him. Instead he could only see the scrawny, infantile body of Richiki, half cowering, half begging to be taken.

Renji lowered his head to the daunted boy's chest, tearing viciously at the swollen nipple. Richiki cried out, his scrambling fingers entwined in the bed sheets as the red haired shinigami tasted blood. He grinned wolfishly, forcing his hand down Richiki's hakama, pushing them down to his knees, he'd enjoy watching him shiver. Renji reached down slowly to grasp the trembling boy in one calloused hand; his fingers scarcely moving before the young shinigami began to whimper.

The older man swallowed, he knew Richiki wasn't a virgin, it was obvious in the way he moaned whorishly and rolled his hips to meet his 'lover's' hand; but there was something so innocent, so pure, so absolutely corruptible about him that made Renji gladly look forward to what he was about to do.

Richiki's eyes were wide as his partner pulled the hand away and swiftly stripped out of his uniform. Renji tried to control his desire as he gradually let the folds of black fabric slip to the floor. He could see the fear in Richiki's face. And he loved it. A terrible part of him longed for the boy to beg him to stop. The idea of raping his young friend was making it harder and harder for Renji to be gentle.

But he knew, he knew Richiki would never ask him to stop. That whatever his senpai did he would always grit his teeth and bear it, then tomorrow he would smile shyly and pretend it had never happened…

Richiki tried to sit up, being on his back for so long made him feel vulnerable but Renji forced him back down, slamming a solid leg on either side of his subordinate's slight hips. Richiki was paralysed by the glare on his Fukutaicho's face and the large hand pressed immovably to the pillow by his head.

Renji spat into his other hand in an attempt to spare the young shinigami some of the pain and anguish he would feel, but he was probably used to this anyway. 'It wasn't rape', he told himself, Richiki hadn't asked him to stop, yet…

Renji entered him roughly, clamping the same hand over Richiki's mouth forcing him to swallow his scream. The older man couldn't suppress his own groan of pleasure. Shit Richiki was tight! He didn't know how many other guys had fucked him like this but he practically felt like a virgin. Renji knew that after that build up he wouldn't last long as he was already nearly there.

Richiki whimpered, his little hands reached for him. They were reaching for a friend. The friend he had once had, once idolised, once loved.

Renji thrusted hard and deep, it felt deeper than this brat could take and it felt so fucking good. The child felt like he was being split in two. The tears ran down Richiki's face, he wanted to cry out, to beg his beloved senpai to stop. He felt Renji shudder before coming, hard and Richiki went very pale.

o.o.o.o

Richiki lay in a crumpled naked heap in the shower. Renji had left as soon as he finished, leaving his partner to make his own way home. The boy was still in shock even as he stumbled into his own apartment and began running a shower.

Everything seemed wrong, the lights were too bright, the water was too hot, his whole home just wasn't right. The poor boy fell under the boiling hot jets of water, totally overwhelmed. He curled up against the stone tiled wall and burst into tears. He tried to pretend it didn't bother him; he had almost convinced himself that Renji could love him one day, that maybe one day Richiki could be like his idol…

But he knew what had been on Renji's mind tonight, the name he had breathed in his split second of post-coital bliss. It was a name the young shinigami could never have expected or even believed possible.

"Byakuya."

o.o.o.o

Byakuya groaned and rolled over. It was no use, he'd get no more sleep tonight. The blackness beyond his blinds told him that it was too early to reasonably request breakfast. It couldn't be much after four.

'At least there were no more nightmares,' an irksome voice at the back of his mind reminded him. At least, the little sleep he had achieved was peaceful and untroubled.

The young Kuchiki rose swiftly and slipped on his yutaka. Perhaps a bath was in order. Yes, that's what was needed, a nice hot bath to de-tense before another day of work. Byakuya usually took his baths in the evenings, but this would be a welcome change. At least the ritual of his bath would take his thoughts away from…

The noble shinigami padded noiselessly down the still corridor to his familiar, personal bathroom. The door locked behind him with a satisfying click and he paused to take a meditative breath. The dark tiles were cool and comforting underfoot and his mood settled, enjoying the muted echo of his footfalls on the slate floor.

He began to run the water, watching the steam rise from the many jets feeding the sunken bath, before deftly slipping behind a broad screen to change. There was no one in the room to observe him, but a force of habit compelled him to protect his modesty at all times, even from himself.

Byakuya emerged to a room full of sweet-smelling steam. This truly was his favourite place to be at times of stress; running water, the gentle scent of his blend of bath oils, the clean lines running through every surface and his hand painted lacquer screens emblazoned with scenes of birds and sakura trees. He allowed himself a calm smile as his sunk into the steaming water.

He took some great silent delight in the way his skin flared in the scalding bath. The pure white alabaster, glowed rose as he reached up to pin his hair up out of the way, it was something he hated more than anything when he was in the bath, the feeling of cold wet hair brushing across his back. Such a childish dislike.

He hissed defensively as he let the water splash up his broad chest. It tingled deliciously, but he couldn't help but feel that familiar clawing at the pit of his stomach just as he has hoped those thoughts were leaving him. He sighed. Even, it seemed, the perfection of a morning bath did little to burn all thoughts of Renji from his mind.

The noble Shinigami let out a low, annoyed groan.

'Why am I letting this affect me so much?' he mused. 'That kiss was a minor indiscretion. I did the right thing in rejecting him. My feelings for him can be explained by our close proximity during the working day and his obvious physical attractiveness.'

The ever-proud Kuchiki hated to use a phrase like 'getting any' but he certainly wasn't.

'Perhaps this is a contributory factor in this inexplicable attraction I have for him. I mean, we are completely incompatible as people and… he's far too tall.'

He paused in his thoughts. Had height become a valid reason for rejection? No. He had to stop negotiating with himself. It seemed a growing problem that he had. And it may well indicate that he was losing his mind. He sighed, letting his head roll back and hit the well-worn edge of the bath. He was, most likely, making a huge fuss about nothing in his mind.

He let his eyes slide closed.

'Tomorrow all this is sure to have blown over. I suppose Renji is feeling naturally embarrassed about what happened. I shall apologise profusely for my misconduct, offer him an honourable way to transfer to an alternate position and if he decides his brief spell at Sixth has been enough to entice him to stay, he will be perfectly within his rights to do so.'

Byakuya felt much better after rationalising the position to himself and he decided tomorrow would be a much better day.

**Final Comment:** My next fic will be a silly little drabble to celebrate Kira's birthday _today!_ Then I promise to start work on the next chapter of Dark Diary. Busy busy busy, so much to do…


End file.
